Here i present a drawing of mine based on a fic, Scarred for life. This original fic belongs to one of my favourite authors, StarvingLunatic. Apparently, aside from making Shiznat fics, he/she also have her very own original fic! =DD
The story as usual is amazing and i loved it to bits! he/she had drawn the main characters and put it on his/her website, and i merely just drawing my version of the characters, lol. One cannot hold herself back from the excitement of finally being able to know how the characters really look like... and thus my hand produced this pic~
though my laptop is having a problem, and making it not possible for me to color this pic.... how well.
i present, The Great Dane and Nicole~
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:tell me your wish-SNSD
Even when you KNOW you’re going to go and act all bitchy towards someone because that someone did a careless mistake, it doesn’t mean that you can actually STOP yourselves from acting that way.
It goes somehow like this….
“Hello?”
“Hey, did you buy what I asked you to?” -happy, happy-
“Oh, I forgot! I’m sorry! “ -guilty tone-
“......”
“Sorry…..”
“I knew it. Never mind then.”
Click. The line was ended.
Yeah, I know it’s not something THAT BIG to get all angry about, but hey! I’ve been nagging and trying to remind her so many times before! It just doesn’t make sense! I even called her when she’s there to remind her, while I’m busy with my work too, yet she still forgets?! Ridiculous, I’d say.
But then again, like what I usually said before, she’s just a normal human being… a NORMAL human being cannot escape from making mistakes every now and then. Even ‘I’ make mistakes sometimes. So, it’s only natural for her to forget…. Right? And I should have forgiven her.
But I couldn’t. Even knowing all what I said, I still got angry with her… because it hurts, damn it! I can’t believe I was soooo stupid to put so much hope in believing that she WON’T forget! Okay, I’m really angry right now that I’m starting to talk bad… GRRR!!
She actually called back after I ended the first call…
“Hello?”
“......” –don’t feel like answering-
“Hello? Hello?”
“...yeah?”
“Are you angry?”
“... No. I said I already expected this, so never mind it.” –deadpan-
“Sorry, it’s not that I really forget, I actually remember a bit, but then somehow….”
At this point, I somehow didn’t register what she was saying anymore. I could feel my blood was boiling right then and there.
“I said NEVER MIND.” –direct-
“oh…” –sounds relieved somehow-
“...Bye-bye.” Almost ends the call abruptly again.
“Eh?! Why so fast??”
“Why? There’s nothing to talk about anyhow.” –snap-
“... You’re angry after all. Okay then.”-sounds annoyed-
“Okay. Bye.”-double annoyed-
“Bye.”
Ended.
Now I’m the one who’s angry at myself for knowing that I would go all bitchy and snappy, yet still can’t stop myself from actually BE that. Shit.
But I guess the quote “it is harder to forgive your friends than to forgive your enemies” is true after all. It’s not easy to forgive our friend because we actually believe in them and really trust them. And when they practically violate our trust, it fucking hurt. Unlike our enemies… even if they violate our trust, it doesn’t matter that much really, because they didn’t have our trust right from the start after all. Well, this holds true to me.
Argh, now I’m going to suffer for breaking our bridge like this. Stupid me. I blame this tiring day and my stupid mood for making it easier for me to get angry when I called her. Bah!
But…. I’m going to apologize to her, sooner or later. This is not our first fight after all.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
crushed
There are so many authors out there that like to use the plot where Shizuru left Natsuki or the other way around, and then meet up again to finally fall in love all over again (this plot is about to turn into cliche, fast). Well, not that i read all of them but some are quite good, really.
About 2 weeks ago (i was having a test that time!), i don't know how, but i suddenly got this scene of shiznat in my head that seems doesn't want to leave me alone. Obviously it was derived from 'the plot' i just mentioned. Really a pain, so i just had to throw it out somehow.
Basically, i was only sketching (my hand just reach for any paper in sight and moved on its own)... but it somehow turned into a full drawn doujin. (--.--)
right to left, please. -sigh-
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
tired - Music:karma-kamelot
i just don't understand this life anymore... it's just so unfair. Why is it when we do the best we can do, there was not even a single person who look and acknowledge us... But when we play like we don't even care, they actually take note of us and decided we are not worth it!!
Damn! i soooo wanna scream at their face, telling how much unfair humans are! Now i don't even know whether to cry my heart out, or just laugh it all off. it was so stupid that i actually convinced myself that "hey, it's not them who are stupid, it was me!! duh"
i know that it's not a bad thing to admit our defeat sometimes as we are not supposed to be afraid of failing, but God, it wasn't me who was defeated! they are the one who didn't even look at me when i shine like the sun, they only look at me when i fall
i know that there are many people out there who are so much more better than me. but hey, you should at least be fair to all of us who try our best
i'm really pissed off. and that's an understatement, dear (i'm being sarcastic here).
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
enraged - Music:Placebo-every u every me
dead.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:lips like morphine-kill hannah
it's all over. My exam ended today, and so is my suffering. Though i can't say i'll get good result for this finals of mine.
Yesterday was the worst ever. it was the first time in history that my head suddenly gone blank and i somehow couldn't comprehend a single question. but it seems i'm not the only one for almost everyone in my class are complaining, lol.
and now that i'm free, i'm planning to completely have fun and enjoy myself. me and my friend, An planned to go for a climbing. hmmm, i also wanted to hang out with Shi and Wue at the mall, just walking around doing nothing..... but i'm too lazy to go out.
the one thing that really got me excited right now is the plan for having Anime Marathon! that's right, i'm going to watch many anime starting from today
ahhh, there's also the fact that i can finally do all of my favourite hobbies i left behind just because of the terrifying exam. i can touch my beloved guitar again "hello darling, it's been a while~" is what i would say to it. totally. i can continue learning more about japan again. and i can hold my mechanical pencil and draw! of course, i'll also able to just sleep without any anxiety. aaaaah, what a good feeling~
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: listless
- Music:Aly & Aj-potential break up song
10 subjects and i only finished revise one.
the consequences a lazy person has to face......
oh, how i dread it!! XO
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
anxious
heh, going back to my hometown tomorrow. it takes about 10 hours -by car- to get there if i'm not mistaken. going to meet my grandparents and all my cousins (from my mother's side) there. damn, i know i should have finished my school's work when i've got all of those free time days ago! now i don't have enough time...
trying to finish it tonight, but nah, too sleepy awready (hey, it's 3 in the morning awready and i'm going to my hometown in 2 hours from now). don't think i can finish it even if i bring those school's work along -since i'm going to enjoy myself there, not putting more pressure on myself with unwanted work- well, whatever.
but man, right after i come back from my hometown, holidays end! which mean school starts again! and what of my unfinished works??? XO urgh, hate this.
gah, one thing that i hate about going there..... no internet. i guess i have to bear it for 5 days. yea, JUST 5 days
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: annoyed
- Music:mokke-kokoro no ato
urk, the tittle is starting to annoy me...
i think it's about time to give it a short one. (-__-)
hmm, how's FLC (Fate loses calm) sounds.....? well, whatever.
i dedicated these to every awesome authors of NanoFate fics out there! -chuckles-
page 3
page 4
going to meet my sister tomorrow. been long and we're going to have a holiday together....
can't wait for it, but gah i've got another test weeks after.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
blank - Music:sum 41-perfect
here's a stupid question for you people!
it goes like this "why do NORMAL people turn CRAZY?"
well, why? i say, "simple... because of EXAMS!!" XO
heh, since exams had eat me alive was so frustrating, i could take it NO MORE!
and so, only one way to keep my sanity in check, which is.... drawing! woohoo!!
to hell with studing for exams, i don't give a damn anymore~
To reduce my horny feeling lol depression, i ended up making a story titled 'When Fate-chan loses her calm'!
i do love the kind, soft and considerate Fate-chan, honestly....
but i love the cold, dark and rough Fate-chan even more! XDD
and thus the Fate i drew is just that, aha.
enough rambling, i present you my hard work. ^^
hengh, before i forget.... since i made a mistake, you should read it from left to right~
page 1
page 2
to be continue......
aaaaah, it's almost 1a.m and i'm deadly sleepyyy. not to mention, i still need to study for tomorrow's papers like it or not eventhough i said i dont give a damn earlier, tsk(-__-lll)
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: annoyed
- Music:melissa etheridge-breathe
for the LOVE of.... why? why does time suddenly moves sooooo fast! this is a torture! a TORTURE i tell you! and i'm SUFFERING!
what to do, what to do? if i get BAD results again for this exam, my mother is going to take my laptop -or should i say my source of life instead?- away from meeeee!
this can't be happening! not to mention my laziness is not helping at all! and i haven't do any revision yet!
ack, fuck it all.... (-___-ll)
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
stressed
it's weird actually, but that's the fact. so, instead of forcing myself to understand that photoshop thingies, i settled for a new software that i just installed= Corel Painter X.
ohohoho, and i'm able to say that i CAN USE it!! muahahaha!! \(^o^)/
yea, so i went on and pick any one of my pic that i drew before and used it as a target for my new experiment.
and WA-LAH! a coloured version of mrs' kuga~
honestly, Corel Painter is sooo much easier to use than Adobe Photoshop in my opinion....
but then again, i say that because i'm the only one who don't know how to use the great Adobe Photoshop..... pity me, huuu.
oh well, on the side note......
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: accomplished
huh, well, yea...... these 2 pics have been lurking around here waaayy too long without being exposed to the world, so i thought it'd be best if i do it like NOW or never, heh.
honestly, i had put all of my heart on drawing and making these two look perfect. -sniff- dont know why, but i'm feeling nostalgic. well, NanoFate is another pairing that i love soooo much! <333 maybe next time i'll make them both together on ONE page instead. -giggles- who knows, i might as well. >=]
yea, been thinking about colouring them...... but meh, i'm way too busy lately. -__-
tHe EveR GrAcEfuL Fate~ <3
tHe EveR GraCiOus NanoHa~ <3
- Location:living room
- Mood: busy
- Music:SR 71-what a mess
yea, as the title says, i'm completely shocked and awfully disapointed. i'm badly disapointed that i wish i could just die.... it hurts, it hurts so much to feel like this i'm in pain! i'm suffocating that it hurts so badly!
what did i do wrong?! what's not enough from me?! why can't i be the one?!! why is it not me?!! i was the one who so eager to do it! i'm the one who struggle so hard to make the possibility happened! and i even tried to make it perfect and smooth! i'm also the one who tried to make things work and succesful! and then why? why can't i??!!
please.... i'm so tired of waiting.... sick of being hurt everytime my expectation comes to none...... i keep on hoping, that maybe someday.....maybe.... *sigh*
life is so hard at times....
i don't want to give up on my hope, but yet... this is eating me alive!
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: melancholy
pfff, whatever~
well, here i draw a pic of Natsuki Kuga and Rei Hino. why Hino but not Shizuru, i heard? haha, you see, i didn't just draw this with nothing in mind like i normally do.... instead i produce this pic because of my opinions on how Hino and Kuga almost seems the same! not physically i mean.... it's more to the....err.... it's like.... they're like.... ARGH!! i dunno how to explain it! you might not agree with me, but this is my own opinions. well, i have doubts, but you'll get the point. -__-;
think about it. if we look at Kuga and Hino family's issues, both of their mothers were dead when Natsu and Rei were still young! and to ad things up, both of them are not quite fond of their fathers.... though on Natsuki's part, i just got some impressions of that, haha. but yea, their relationship with their respective fathers are far from sweet.... XO
then, there is their cool demeanour of theirs. *sigh* both of them are sort of portrayed to be cold, lonewolf type, involuntaryly famous, harsh, and they are selfish? haha, but we all know that's just on the outside, where on the inside both of them are actually kind and nice and all. oh! i'm actually talking about Rei Hino from the manga and PGSM, not from the anime, mind you. however, Rei is more open compared to Natsuki, huh? can't blame her though since Rei got her friends with her, but Natsuki only have Shizuru. =3
aha, and don't forget about their hot-tempered attitude. snapping every now and then, even to their significant others *coughcough*. okay, i really love ShizNat and ReiMina pairs.... and so from here, we can see another similarities of those two which is the popularity of the person they are paired to. see, Minako is a famous idol in PGSM, and Shizuru is the student council president who e ven have a lot of fan-girls! huhu....
well, i guess that's about enough ramble... oh yea, this pic is my first atempt in colouring pictures using computer..... it was kind of hard, no doubt! but since i'm a diligent girl *coughliarcough* i'm able to finished it, yaaaaay!! ^_-
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
sleepy - Music:never meant to belong-shiro sagisu
my recently hectic life has made it so impossible for me to even relax!! i was busy here and there, now and then! and i was exhausted! huhuuu~ T^T
i hate the early months of the year where my life haven't fully settled yet....
-sigh- and that's that, i guess. it's not like i can do anything about it.....
awright! enough of my rambling! and so i present you another drawing of mine, a pic based on ManiazAzn's fic!
it's a Mai Hime version of Mr & Mrs Smith. =3
Mrs & Mrs Kuga~
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
calm - Music:Motteke! Sailor Fuku-Aya Hirano
mmm, my sister is having a break from her studies recently and she's staying at home for a month. no need to say that i'm really happy for that since it's quite obvious awready. and so, while she's here, i decided to drag her into drawing some shiznat! ^^ well, she's quite a beginner in this drawing stuff, but she's a natural copy-cat if she's really into it. and the pic below is the product of her hard work! XD though at first there was a lot of..... err, mistakes she make, but after i teach her certain things, she finally able to make such a satisfying fanart~ (~o~) i'm so proud of her.....
- Location:bedroom
- Mood: sleepy
hmmm, i've been sleeping later than my bedtime for a month awready and it's starting to take its toll on my body. (~_~) the time for me to wake up had also became later and later each days... sometimes, i found myself awoke at early evening~~ i'm really, really damn exausted.... well, i suppose i better stop my stupid behaviour before it got seriously bad. *shrug*
heh. to make things worse, i can't help but to feel anxious lately.... don't know why though, i'm still searching the cause of it. O_o perhaps it's because the oncoming class trip of mine.... or is it because of my sister..? nah, forget it.... my head is going to blow with all of this~
last but not least, i think i'll put some more shiznat here... ^^
i'm thinking about making a doujin... but dunno, i'm still tired. but the idea is refreshing nonetheless.
- Location:living room
- Mood: restless
well, my so-call-final-exam (damnit) had just ended days ago.....finally, phew!
so i thought maybe i will celebrate it with some drawing....and wa-lah! a Natsuki Kruger appear by my hand! XDXDXD
i drew her in a casual clothes though, but still......i made it!!! yay, i'm so happy~
- Location:living room
- Mood: thoughtful
- Music:my stomach growling (~~)
just something i drew to ease my mind from the upcoming so-called-final-test-of mine. though i might continue it......who knows, ne?
besides, these two are my favourite couple!! huhu~
- Location:kitchen
- Mood:
crazy - Music:pleasure line
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
darkenez0_o- darkenez0_o
Syndicate
